It says I’m:
- stuffed with bread, cookies, and chips
- going in circles
- a hot mess
I love soup. I open up a can of soup and pour it in a bowl almost every day. I cook my soup in the microwave because it takes just the one bowl. The same bowl that you cook the soup in is the same bowl you eat the soup out of -no extra pots to clean, simple. My microwave has a turntable and you can’t put a paper towel over the soup because as the turntable moves the paper towel gets hung up, falls in the soup, and becomes a soggy mess. Therefore, I don’t use a paper towel. I just put the bowl of soup in there and punch in 3 minutes. Without fail, and for some unknown scientific reason, the carrots in the soup spontaneously combust and bits of carrot explode and then adhere to the walls of the microwave. No paper towel to catch the shrapnel. Every time. Why???
Sometimes I have time to clean the microwave, but mostly I don’t. Maybe I have the time, but not the inclination. The carrot bits start to add up. Maybe other exploding bits from potatoes, beef, and chicken are layered on top of the carrots and eventually I look in the microwave with disgust. How have I let it get this bad? What if I drop dead right now? Friends and family would gather at my home, bring various covered dishes that need to be heated up quickly for the mourners, then open up the microwave and collectively gasp.
She was a good person, but OMG did you see her microwave? How could she live like that? Disgusting! Maybe that’s what killed her…some kind of bacterial overload.
This is NOT how I want to be remembered, nor how I want to die. So I cleaned the microwave today just in case. I heated up Beer Cheddar Soup and it exploded as per usual, although no carrots were harmed. This time it was potato. The previous crusty layers were at maximum capacity. It required a little chiseling action to get it all off. It looks better now. I can die in peace, but hopefully I will live another day. It looks like I have a can of Italian Wedding Soup in the cupboard waiting for me tomorrow.