I can’t hate apples no matter what they say they do to doctors, you know, like keep them away.  I love them.  I love them even more now that they come precut in bags so all I have to do is reach in and munch away.  What genius came up with this?  How do the apples NOT turn brown?  You don’t understand, I am being serious.  I know you guys are much smarter than me and know all the science behind this.  I could google it, but I prefer to remain pleasantly ignorant and amazed by the sliced apples in the bag -that DON’T turn brown!!!

How many times have I opened the refrigerator door, perused the contents, saw the whole apples in the bin and just went MEH, too much work?  I prefer MY apples to be cut into slices, with the middle neatly scooped out and maybe a dollop of peanut butter on top.  When they are whole apples, you have to wash them, and cut them, scoop out the middle and trim any weird brown frilly parts from the bottom.  Then you have to eat them quickly before they turn brown.  I would just end up eating a banana or maybe some Cheetos instead.

But now, I buy them in the bags.  Is this expensive?  I’m sure.  Is this environmentally friendly?  Um, no.  Do I care?  Well, yeah, I’m going to care a little.  Just a little, and then it will pass and I will buy those bags of sliced apples and hand them out to the kids, to the dog, bring them to work.  I have never eaten so many apples in my life.  This has been life changing for me, I can not deny the impact that the amazing sliced apples in the bag that don’t turn brown has had on my life!

What I would like to propose to the great minds that developed this radical new way of apple packaging is that they now start working on the avocado.  Here is my dilemma: I love avocados, but I am the only one who does in the house.  When I buy an avocado and cut it, I have to eat the whole thing or it turns all mushy and brown.  Eating a whole avocado is just too much for one little person.  I would like it sliced up and put in bags so I can enjoy a little bit whenever I want.  I would like those smart apple folks to get to work on that for me, please.