The F Word

fullsizeoutput_1fb7In our house, the “F” word is Fart.  That was until Christmas day.

My husband has a few rules about bad words.  He doesn’t like the kids to say Butt, Fart, or Stupid.  I get it.  Hearing a 5 year old say Stupid just seems wrong.  It’s rude.  It’s harsh.  We don’t say that to them or to each other.  We try our gosh darnedest not to say it about others (in the kids’ presence anyway).

He has one rule for me.  He doesn’t like it when I say GD.  You guys know what I’m referring to, right?  I can say Gosh Darn, the more acceptable cousin of GD, but not GD.  Now, he would never tell me I can’t say GD, but the look of absolute betrayal and disappointment on his face when I do say it, has cured me of ever saying it again.  Ever.  Except when I’m so enraged that it just slips out.  Oops.

He never says bad words.  And when he does, it’s equal parts shocking and humorous.  He’s just not the bad word type.  It doesn’t suit him.  He’s that good.  Me, on the other hand, I am the bad word type.  Through and through.  They suit me just fine.  It’s like a natural extension of my inner being.

Which brings me back to Christmas.  I unknowingly unwrapped a coffee cup that my husband bought me that had the real “F” word written all over it.  Like 5 times.  The kids took one look at that cup and were mesmerized.  Being 8 and 5, they can now read so they knew exactly what it said.  It instantly changed their perception of the “F” word.  Fart lost all of its powers of infatuation.  The new “F” word has since taken over.  They want to talk about the cup daddy bought mommy -all the time.  I’ve hidden it deep in the cabinets and told them it will only come out when they are 18.

The oldest informed me that he told his Sunday School teacher about the infamous cup that daddy bought mommy for Christmas.  Then I informed daddy.  And daddy looked like he wanted to puke.






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17 Responses to The F Word

  1. 2ndhalfolife says:

    I always taught my children that ‘bad’ words are the words that hurt people, words of bigotry and prejudice. Or words that when strung together belittle someone or make them feel awful. To me (and this is only my humble opinion), these words you mention as ‘bad’ are nothing really. If you say them and they make you feel better, like when you hit your thumb with a hammer or something, no biggie. But that’s just me…. It’s not THE word, but how you use them.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Kenneth T. says:

    The “F” word is forbidden in my friends house, that word is… “fat”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. “Godfrey Daniel!”, that was a good present! (cit. W.C.Fields for the expletive.)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I laughed because the F word in my house was also fart. The children are going to hear the real F word regardless of what we rules we set in our homes. Our rule was it was not to be used in our home nor were they to use it, just because they hear their friends using it is no excuse. Let’s face it, once they become teens they are going to use the real F word but as long as they don’t use it at home or in front of us or company there is not much we can do about it. I am now 73, my children are all married now and are raising their own families and they never use the F word at least not in their home or in front of us or the children.
    I think your husband got his message across to you. This is one for the books. :o)
    Well done!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Deb says:

    Thanks for the laugh this morning! It’s been a while since I laughed at a blog post what with all the F**King crap and chaos happening right now 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Victo Dolore says:

    So, WHY did he get that cup for you again? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  7. just learned the other day that profanity is a sign of an intelligent mind

    Liked by 5 people

  8. So what’s with that cup now? Still waiting to be used? :))

    Liked by 1 person

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