You know that the times they are a-changing when you have lunch with your dad and he wants to talk about Malcolm X.
I tried to get out of the lunch date, not because I’m some kind of horrible daughter, that’s part of it, but because I felt like I was coming down with something. How many flu cases had I seen the day before? Or the day before that? I lost count. But it was a lot. My muscles and joints were achy. I felt pressure in my sinuses and my throat was a little sore. I just wanted the few hours I had left before I picked up the kids from school to be spent under the covers and watching tv.
I don’t feel that good, dad. I don’t want to expose you to anything, maybe we should plan for another day.
He wasn’t having it. He wanted to have lunch with me and that was that.
“You can get soup. You need to eat anyway, don’t you?”
He wanted me to take him to Red Lobster. We settled on Cracker Barrel.
Over lunch that was actually breakfast food, pancakes for both of us, my dad started to talk about the goings on in his life. He’s remodeling his bathroom, working on his old car, going to church dinners twice a week, his visits to the doctor at the VA, going fishing when the weather warms up. And Malcolm X (insert record scratch).
I’m pretty sure my dad voted for Trump, although, I can not bring myself to ask him directly. I just don’t need to know that about him. Kind of like not knowing about your parents love life. My soul will be better off if I’m ignorant to those facts. But I have a feeling he did based on comments like –he really speaks his mind, he could make the VA and Medicare better, he can shake things up. It’s just possible that if he did vote for him, he may be having buyer’s remorse
Because he’s watching movies about Malcolm X.
My dad, who belongs to the NRA. Who used to drink too much beer, but hasn’t in 13 years. Who’s southern accent sneaks out in the most unlikely places (wire becomes whau-yer).
He’s reaching out. He’s learning. He’s curious. He knows something’s not right. He knows that the VA and Medicare are not priorities with this administration. Things are getting shaken up and it’s chaos. He’s hearing about Black Lives Matter. He knows I participated in the Women’s March with his granddaughter.
He watched a movie about a black man in the 60’s who was a Muslim. A man who stood up against white suppression “by any means necessary.” A man who was likely murdered because his militant beliefs tempered with time and he sought ways to peacefully create understanding and change. He changed. He evolved. He understood.
And if Malcolm X can do that and my dad can do that, then there’s hope for us all.
deconstructingdoctor.com 
In the end, it’s all about understanding each other. I respect your approach to not really wanting to know explicitly how your father voted. And I am particularly touched by your acceptance as well as the value you place on evolution, whether that movement toward change carried out by an individual or a society. Social progress doesn’t move in along a straight upward trajectory. We just have to keep evolving, help others evolve, and reach for the light as we press on in the right direction.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Beautifully put. We have to allow others the time they need for their path, their actualization. We have to be kind to them during that process.
LikeLike
Your Dad gives me hope!!! This is truly what I’ve been wishing for: Trump voters to feel some sort of voter remorse…like, uh oh, maybe this guy really isn’t what we thought he was. Maybe then we can get rid of him sooner.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly! They have to see. Their eyes have to open. It just takes time….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh I sincerely hope that this is the beginning of a trend. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we began to see large segments of the population begin to stir from this bizarre fugue to realize that maybe, maybe we booked passage on a ship with a broken rudder?
I like you, have chosen not to confirm my suspicions about my dad’s vote. He’s an amazing man and role model in many ways. Some things are best left undisturbed.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Me, too. It’s so hard to admit mistakes as you and I know in medicine. But to admit a mistake in ideology, well that’s near impossible! It’s so deeply rooted in a person’s core. It’s as if the core of a nuclear reactor were to melt down. Hard to watch and you hope everything is still standing when it’s done. Hopefully, we can all be gentler encouragers of kindness and empathy in our encounters with others. Even with dads with NRA stickers on their pickups❤😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have very passionate people in my family on both sides of the spectrum politically and like you, I sorta don’t want to know sometimes :). My father passed years ago but he would have flipped out about Trump for sure and argued his passion endlessly!! Towards the end of his life he discovered Lady Gaga and “Born this way” and LOVED her! I just hate the whole social media thing of people losing friends over the whole thing instead of being respectful and reasonable if they choose to talk about it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree! I try not to shove it down people’s throats and try to understand their motivations. Some things, though seem so inexcusable…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hear ya!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hope you side stepped you flu like symptons. Trump is in, he can be impeached if necessary so don’t worry if your dad voted for him because it sounds like if he could voted him out right now he would. Personally I think, well I won’t tell you what I think right now. He’s in office, all I can do is pray along with the rest of America. Keep well, and thanks for the interesting post. ☺☺☺
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! Impeachment is an option😊 however, prayer works, too. I’ve been doing a lot of that lately!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too. ☺
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad that he urged you to have lunch because then you learned what you learned and shared it hear and we ALL need little glimmers of hope like this.
Hope you manage to dodge the flu.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Feeling much better! Never quite materialized. You are right I’m glad I went.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A good thing to hold onto, that knowledge that there are folks out there who can SEE and perhaps want to learn how much DT is not the person they thought he was/is. Keep having those lunches with your dad. It sounds like you are a good influence 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Deb! I think a lot of people are having buyers remorse
LikeLiked by 1 person
These sre difficult times. If your dad can keep his mind open he will see the truth and maybe even join in the next protest.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll let you know! I think he backtracked a bit after the inaugural address he seemed back on the Trump train 🚂🤢
LikeLike
Oops I meant State of the Union address….
LikeLike