I’m not ready for October to end. I am one of those annoying people who happen to love Halloween. I love the decorations, the costumes, the candy, the darkness. Some may think that to love Halloween is morbid, but I like scary things. For me, they really aren’t that scary at all. Demons, devils, skeletons, witches, zombies, spiders, and clowns -those things that make up our nightmares -those things that lurk in the darkness, at the edges, in the shadows.
Now that Halloween is over, the overly joyful, cheerful types start to take over. They joke about playing Christmas music and putting up their Christmas trees. They string lights, as if being in the light is just not bright enough. They start their holiday shopping, make their lists, cook their turkeys, and bake their pies. I don’t like those people. It’s like they live in some kind of alternate reality. They bask in the light of day as if nothing lingers in the shadows.
The whitest white can still hide the blackest heart. Those are the ones to fear. The ones that never show their true nature. They live in the light, but beneath their skin seethes something darker. The ones that can defend a predator president, grope someone without consent, to take what does not belong to them, to feel like they are owed something, to turn away from someone in need. The ones that turn their backs on the truth.
I prefer the things that reveal themselves in the darkness. They do not hide or pretend they are something they are not. How much more trustworthy are they!
The darkness gives the light its meaning. The light shines more brightly when it is enshrouded in darkness. A tiny ember adrift on the wind would all but disappear before the sun, but that same ember at night, would dance and weave a miniature light show before your eyes. The darkness is nothing without the light and the light is nothing without the darkness. Plants need light to survive, but they grow most in the dark. We are the same. During our darkest times in life, that is when we grow the most. The storms that we weather make us become more of what we are meant to be. We can only do that in the darkness.
Am I morbid? Maybe. I choose to embrace the darkness. It is not my enemy, but neither is the light. In the end, when all of the good and bad are tallied up, I am sure there will be a perfect balance. Good and bad. Light and dark. Neither one more important than the other. God never protecting us fully from the bad, nor overindulging us in the good. He knows that both are necessary. He made it that way.
I know that in life, there will be bad times. I know that in those times, I am becoming more resilient, more honorable, more knowledgeable, more wise. There will be pain. There will be tears. There will be fear. I will persevere. It will make me appreciate the times in the light even more, but also understand that it is all so fleeting.
This season is a reminder to me and a way to celebrate the ways in which the darkness has made me who I am today. The deepest, saddest parts of me are not to be shunned and left in the darkness, but embraced. They make up the sum total of who I am. Good and bad. Light and dark.