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The Truths of Aging

Posted on February 27, 2016 by deconstructingdoctor

There are certain truths that come with aging. You don’t always realize them until you actually age. Knowing them too soon is against the laws of nature. You don’t want to ruin the mystique of getting older. If you are young and do not want to break the law, you might want to skip this post, because I’m about to royally f^ck up your reality.

Now for those of you that consider yourselves old enough to continue reading, I will commence with The Truths of Aging:

Badder Bladder: This one is for the ladies, but it can happen to the fellas, too. The bladder, she is a beast. She was once a thing of beauty, able to hold many gallons of liquid for days at a time, now she is a shell of her former self. The only thing that I really excel at any more is peeing. Any time, any place. All day, all night. In fact, I’m so good at it, that I can do it while performing jumping jacks, like without even trying. Therefore, I don’t do jumping jacks. Or bounce houses. Or trampolines. I basically don’t jump at all.
Out of Joint: Not out of joints, young people. Why are you still reading this? Back in my day you really had to work to find a joint. You kids have it too easy. You don’t appreciate the sacrifices we made so that you could have legal marijuana. Let me get back to the point. Joints are hideous inventions. They wear out way before any other parts do. Think tin man. The good thing is they are replaceable.
Brain Fog: Now what was I saying? Oh yeah, brain fog. Brain fog is what happens when you walk into a room with every intention of performing a task, but instead your spouse, the dog, a kid, or the phone interrupt you and you totally forget what you were doing. It’s also the moment when you are writing in your blog and you can’t remember the word ‘insidious,’ so you google ‘something really bad.’ Brain fog is insidious.
Acne/Wrinkles Make up Your Mind: How about a pimple imbedded in a wrinkle? That’s just wrong. God can be cruel sometimes.
Seeing Eye Dog: I might need one. I can see well enough to drive, but not well enough to read. Glasses are a cute fashion accessory until you HAVE to wear them and then it’s annoying and when you have brain fog, you lose them. Squinting doesn’t help, but we all try it. You might be doing it right now.
Hair everywhere: I am not kidding. Hair appears in ears, noses, chins, toes, nipples, around the belly button, out of random moles. It’s disgusting. The elderly person, however, has no idea because they can’t see the hairs, having lost their glasses in #5.
Penis Envy: Gentlemen. Your attention, please (clearing throat). Your penis will fail you in a moment that you least expect. In a moment of great passion. In a moment when you are desperately trying to please your partner. It’s going to happen, I assure you. Please stop crying. It will be OK. There’s always Viagra (or Cialis, or Caverject, or Levitra, or Stendra)
Turnt up: I can’t hear you, what did you say? You need to be turnt up. Or maybe someone should invest in a hearing aid? Either way, everyone sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher.
Bowels of hell: With aging comes a heightened awareness of one’s bowel function. Or dysfunction. And then the great quest to form the perfect BM ensues. Like a mad scientist creating Frankenstein, the aged mix concoctions to bring life to their lifeless and sluggish poo: a hint of Milk of Magnesia, a dash of ExLax, a sprinkle of fiber, mixed in a cauldron of prune juice, and finally a bolt of lightning. “It’s Alive!”

Aging is not for wimps. It really takes a strong person to age gracefully. Aging, God-willing, happens to most of us. Have you considered the alternative? You might as well embrace it. Leaky bladders, creaky joints, memory lapses, wrinkles, random hair, disappointing penises, constipation, deafness, blindness, and all…

Youth-anasia

Posted in Advise Humorous, Medical Musings | Tagged Aging, Bladder, Brain Fog, Doctor, Elderly, Joints, Truth | 2 Comments

Youth-anasia

Posted on February 24, 2016 by deconstructingdoctor

The Truths of Aging

I’m not getting any younger. I’m OK with that. The part that I’m not so happy about is the slow decay of my body while I’m still living in it. That getting older part. I am acutely aware of the aging process. I have a front row seat to all that the future holds for the human body. When patients make comments about how it sucks to get older, I always joke that it’s job security for me.

It’s not that I am upset about my wrinkles or my jiggly neck or my poochy stomach or the way my thighs touch. That shit doesn’t bother me in the least (that’s a lie). What bothers me is getting up in the morning and my back hurts, or the new pain in my right shoulder blade that happened when I reached for the remote, or that I have to wear sensible shoes or my feet will hurt for days.

That part sucks because in my head I can run a marathon right now. My joints and muscles are elastic, fluid, resilient. At least they are in my mind, but not so much in reality.

I know that the best I’ll ever be from now on will be at this very moment. Entropy has me firmly in its grasp and my body is declining into disorder. Slowly, but effectively. This body will fail me, but somehow I feel like its part of a greater plan. We can’t stay here forever and if this body stayed young and vibrant, I wouldn’t want to leave it. Eventually, the body fails us, deceives us, disappoints us, and betrays us. Our hearts break literally and figuratively. It gets bad enough that leaving the body is a viable and desirable option. You know, like dying.

I think of dying kind of like being on a diving board. Some people go right to the end and jump. Some people hesitate, fearful, backing up and then going forward, realizing that the only way off is to jump, but still they linger somewhere in between. Some people get pushed when they are not ready. If you ever watch children on a diving board, the ones that are afraid but finally overcome that fear -they have a sense of accomplishment and realize how much fun it is to jump into the water. Then they want to do it over and over again, oblivious to their original fear.

Death must be like that. All this fear and then once its done, maybe it’s not as bad as we anticipated. It really doesn’t matter either way. We all have to jump off that diving board eventually because there’s no going back now.

The Truths of Aging

Posted in Medical Musings | Tagged Aging, Doctor, Dying, Patient | Comments Off

Hi. It’s Cancer Calling.

Posted on February 21, 2016 by deconstructingdoctor

ring-1240493-639x425 I changed my cell phone carrier a few months ago. What I neglected to do was tell my new carrier to block my cell phone number so that “restricted” would show up instead of my personal number when I call someone. This is called self-preservation. I used my cell phone to call a patient. It was after hours and I needed to make the call to give some concerning results.

I felt like a jerk calling him and his wife and telling them about the test results over the phone, but it was a Friday and I knew they were waiting to hear the news. It was cancer. Lung cancer. And he didn’t have any insurance.

I once told another patient that she had lung cancer over the phone.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“Walmart,” she said cheerfully.

I asked her to come to the office so I could meet with her in person, but she said, “What is it? Goddammit, just tell me right now.” So I did. I imagined her folding in on herself, becoming smaller, her face caving in under the weight of impending tears. A sea of Walmart shoppers busying themselves around her unaware that I just shattered her world. Her voice wavered a little, straightened up and she said, “now what?”

I told another patient at her house that she had lymphoma. She and I stood in her kitchen when I told her the tests results, her husband cooking burgers out back on the grill. Her house was on my way home from the office and I knew she couldn’t wait. I knew she was anxious so I asked her if I could just come over and tell her. She agreed. I told her. I broke her heart in her own kitchen and then she hugged me.

How would I want to be told? I wouldn’t want my doctor to wait, keeping the news to themselves, maybe telling some of their staff, “can you believe it? She’s got cancer. It’s not good, probably won’t last a year.” I would want to know the moment that they did. No secrets. No hesitation. Goddammit, just tell me right now.

That’s what I did. When I got his CT results back, I called him right then, no hesitation. He answered. Is your wife home? Yes. Do you want to know the results now or come in together and I tell you both? Tell me now. So I did. Then I asked him to put his wife on the phone and I told her, too. I’ll admit the ease at which I can tell people the worst kind of news is a bit disturbing. I am not scared or sad or discouraged. I am matter-of-fact, now we know, let’s-get-to-f^cking-work beating this.

He might call my cell phone now that he has my number. If my phone rings in the middle of the night and it’s him, I’ll take the call and I’ll reassure him. I’ll remind him that I am there for him, that we got this. He’s got a partner in this fight. I’ve been there for him since that first phone call when I changed everything.

Remember that “self preservation” thing? Before you think I’m some kind of Florence Nightingale, I’m still going to block my cell phone number before I’m on call this week. I can’t have everyone know my personal cell phone number. When I’m not at work and I’m not on call, I want to be with my family, completely and fully available to them and them alone.

Photo credit: Edin Dzeko

Posted in My Stories | Tagged Cancer, Doctor, medical, phone call, Walmart | 2 Comments

There’s no “I” in Mucus

Posted on February 18, 2016 by deconstructingdoctor

But there is an “us.”

Everyone in the house is sick, except me. It’s only a matter of time. My oldest has a wicked gag reflex and every time he coughs, he pukes. I’ve had to keep him out of school for 3 days, not because he was particularly unwell, but because I can’t have him barfing in class. He has no control over his cough. I dread when he gets a cold.

My youngest gets excessively clingy. I can’t move from her side. She whines and cries and typically sits on my lap in the rocking chair for hours. I start to break out in a sweat, not just from the heat of her body, but from the panic of being confined in one place for an extended period of time. This girl’s got to move.

My husband has a pitiful look on his face, a red-tipped nose, a pile of tissues scattered about the house, and bottles of cough syrup lining the kitchen countertop. Somehow he still manages to get up at 4 am and go for a run in the cold.

When I get sick it’s a whole other story. I still have to go to work and take care of other sick people. I still have to take care of my family. All I want to do is lay in bed and watch Lifetime movies, but that’s not going to happen, ever. When I’m sick, congested, coughing, aching and a patient comes in with the same problem, I’ll admit, I’m not too sympathetic. “I just don’t feel good, I don’t have time for this, I need to get better.”

Really? You think I’ve got time for this? You think I want to be sick? You’ve just got to deal with it, your body will fight it off in 7-14 days, there’s no magic pill, because if there was don’t you think I would have taken it by now (blows nose)?

Yes, it’s a special kind of hell when you are a doctor (or ANY healthcare provider) and you are sick. No sympathy. No one cares. In fact, they all look at me a little strangely, like I’ve done something wrong. Didn’t I wash my hands or follow my own advise? Doctors shouldn’t get sick. Like your hairdresser should never have roots. Your dermatologist should never have a pimple. Your mechanic should never have a flat tire. You get the picture.

I shouldn’t have to get sick, but I do. I’m human, too. I touched the cart at Wal-Mart then bought that delicious Smart Food White Cheddar Popcorn, ate more than half the bag and licked my fingers afterward. My darling children stand 2 inches from my face and cough, spittle spewing unencumbered through the air directly into my nostrils. Patients come in with their 104 fevers, hurling into their wastebaskets that they bring from home. That’s thoughtful, actually. It really is inevitable that I get sick, too. It makes me feel like I’m a part of something bigger than me, more like “us.” Mucus.

Posted in Medical Musings, My Stories | Tagged cold, Doctor, Family Doctor, Funny mom story, Mom, mucus, sick | 2 Comments

Your New Doctor: A User’s Guide

Posted on February 16, 2016 by deconstructingdoctor

Congratulations! You have a new doctor! You will experience many years of meaningful interaction with them! They will give you great advice, discover things about you, and help you navigate through the scary parts of your life.

Here is a User’s Guide to your new doctor:

Make an appointment. Do you need a physical or are you having an issue that you need to discuss with your doctor? First, make an appointment (don’t just show up). It’s easy. Many doctors offer the ability to make appointments on line or by text, but there is always the old-fashioned way, make a phone call! Now that you have the appointment, you are on your way!
Tell the receptionist why you need to be seen. They have heard it all. Don’t be embarrassed if you have a hemorrhoid the size of a golf ball, they don’t care. If you have a hemorrhoid and you tell the receptionist that you have a hangnail, the appointment time will be allotted for a hangnail and not a hemorrhoid. Your doctor will have prepared themselves for a hangnail and not a hemorrhoid and all hell will break loose when you unleash your giant hemorrhoid on them.
Show up on time. The appointment is the time that you expect to be seated in the exam room and your doctor enters. This doesn’t always happen. Sometimes the doctor is late, but you should NEVER be late. That’s just the rules. Don’t question it.
Bring your insurance card. Just do it. Bring it, show it, wave it around, fan yourself with it. Then politely place it back in your wallet. That was easy.
Make a List. But don’t make it too long. If you have MANY problems, well that is unfortunate for you and maybe you should have gone to the doctor sooner. Maybe your doctor has a short attention span and you should be respectful of that. More than 3 problems (some may say more than 1 problem) and you are going to irritate your new doctor and that is BAD. Your doctor would gladly address ALL of your problems, but at another visit with another co-pay.
Know your history. Your new doctor is going to want to get to know you because you are very interesting to them. They want to know everything about you like your family history, any surgeries or past medical problems you’ve had, if you are a drunk, or if you eat Cheetos and drink Mountain Dew constantly (Who does that? Not me). They will want to know the names of any medications that you take. Knowing the color and shape of the medication is NOT helpful. Names are helpful. Being helpful is good.
Leave your crazy family at home. More is not merrier when you are meeting your new doctor. Aunt Sally will have nothing to offer your new doctor when she goes into the story of her grandfather’s giant goiter. It just doesn’t matter. Save it for Thanksgiving dinner conversation.
Bring money. You don’t go to the grocery store and “forget” your wallet in the car and then get to leave with your groceries. You need to pay your new doctor. They like that. It makes them happy.
Give feedback. This is a touchy subject. Doctors may grumble about this one. They are kind of sensitive. You will likely get a survey after the visit, maybe by email. Be honest, but not mean. If you liked them, tell them in the survey. If you didn’t, lie and say you did (you know I’m kidding, right?).
Go Back. Now that you have met your new doctor and followed this User Guide, you have established the doctor/patient relationship. Any time that you have a problem and need your doctor, all you have to do is start back at step 1. Good luck with your new doctor and may you have many years of enjoyment!

Posted in Advise Humorous | Tagged Appointment, New Doctor, User's Guide | Comments Off

Why Run?

Posted on February 13, 2016 by deconstructingdoctor

I was never an athlete. I once tried out for the Volleyball team in Middle School. I got on the JV squad and during our first practice, I gloriously dove for a ball and wound up jamming my finger right into the gym floor. I walked around for the next month with my right middle finger in a splint in a perpetual “FU” to organized sport.

I was a cheerleader, briefly, also in Middle School. My father loves to announce, “Remember, Kim when you were a cheerleader and you guys got last place in that cheerleading competition?”

Yes, I remember, I sucked at that, too.

Running is kind of different, except for the sucking part, but I’m OK with that because the only one I disappoint is me, and I really don’t care about winning. Winning is only second to finishing, finishing what you start. That’s what appeals to me. Running is perpetual motion, forward facing, leaving it all out on the pavement. Ever thought, even briefly, in a moment of insanity, about running? Here’s why you should run:

It’s cheap: I bought a popular work out CD collection a couple of years ago and used it for a month and that’s it. I have a treadmill in my dining room that has spilt milk on it because it’s sole purpose is to provide a place for my kids to sit and eat their cereal. Running essentially requires a pair of shoes. And a sports bra (for women and men with man-boobs). And some socks. Shorts and top in the summer. But that’s it. Unless you are my husband, who happens to have a running wardrobe for all seasons and about 10 pairs of shoes.
It’s fun: Of course fun is relative. I think it’s fun, but I don’t get out much. It makes me smile. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. Maybe you are high maintenance and running would be the farthest thing from fun you could ever conceive. It’s OK to remove that stick from your rear end now. It would cause to much drag anyway and slow you down.
It’s healthy: Exercise is good for you, I don’t care what you do. Running is exercise. People have the misconception that running is bad for your joints. This is just not true. Gravity on earth and a few too many extra pounds are bad for your joints. Running is good for them. It forces the body to strengthen and lubricate the joints and improves mobility with aging.
It’s relaxing: I get into the zone. Running is methodical, rhythmic. You kind of get lulled into a trance. I find it relaxing. Plus there’s all these endorphins that everyone talks about, a natural high.
Nature: My favorite place to run is in the woods on trails. This is probably NOT the safest. That’s why I run with mace, a whistle, and a giant bazooka. It’s just nice to get out in nature, smell the clean air, inhale a few bugs, it’s good for you, and a good source of protein.
Camaraderie: There are other runners out there, bad ones just like you and me. If they look like they are in pain when they are running, then those are the ones you want to befriend, those are your people now. The ones with knee braces, taped up shins, limps, inhalers, these are good people and you probably still won’t beat them in a race.
You can suck at it, too: Everyone can suck equally. When multiple people suck at something it can really be a bonding experience. To excel is human, to suck is divine or so the saying goes. When you are slow at running it really doesn’t matter as long as you get across the finish line, that’s the truly important part. Finishing what you start with a smile. You can puke later.

Have you been inspired? It starts with one step, so get going already. I’ll race ya!

Posted in Advise Humorous | Tagged Doctor, Run, Running, Suck | 8 Comments

What About the Drug Company?

Posted on February 12, 2016 by deconstructingdoctor

I could complain about the drug companies and their exorbitant prices. I will in a minute. Mostly, I am really glad that I have more in my pharmaceutical armamentarium than leaches and bloodletting. We are truly in an age of medical miracles, life-saving medications, and improvement in quality of life for the chronically ill. Drugs are amazing. Drugs save lives. There are a LOT of them. Many of them are just replicants of already existing ones, everyone clamoring for their version of Viagra®.

It costs a lot of money to bring a drug to market. It’s a good idea to take an already existing medication, make a few tweaks and push it on the masses. It works, doctors are already prescribing something like it, instant bucks. Put a hot chick in a tight skirt, place a brochure of the drug in one hand and bag of lunch in the other and waa-laa, the doctor nerds will prescribe anything.

Just a quick look on http://www.drugs.com and I found the following drug costs (these are averages):

Albuterol $50
Lipitor® (generic) $125
Metoprolol (generic) $25
Effient® $350
Eliquis® $360
Humira® $3500

If your insurance does not pay for the medication or you do not have insurance you can expect to pay approximately those rates. Per month. Forever. Until you die.

Why? Drug companies, like insurance companies, have investors. They also have the expense of finding and studying the drug, marketing it, and paying off lawsuits should the drug cause unforeseen side effects. With all of the costs of getting the drug to market and keeping it there, Pfizer one of the world’s biggest pharmaceutical companies made $49.6 Billion in 2014, $12 billion of which went right back to the shareholders. They make Eliquis®, Viagra®, and Lipitor® among others.

Is it too much, or just business as usual? Do the drugs really have to cost so much when the drug companies are making such a large profit?

I haven’t even touched on the price of chemotherapy drugs. On average, it costs about $10,000 per month (and upwards of $30,000 or more) to pay for drugs that treat cancer. That’s just for the drug. Cancer is really expensive. I’m not even considering PET scans, CT scans, radiation treatments, or doctor’s visits. The drug company is not completely to blame for this, often hospitals will inflate prices to cover their “administration” costs.

Individual insurance companies can negotiate prices for medications with the drug company, that’s why you will often hear of medications as part of a formulary and characterized as “tier 1, 2, or 3.” The smaller tier medication being the cheapest. Medicare and Medicaid, unfortunately have been limited in negotiating for cheaper drug prices after the Department of Health and Human Services was banned from such practices by Congress in 2003. The government insurances then pay whatever the drug companies charge. For Medicare patients that cost is also passed onto the consumer when they fall into the “donut hole.”

Maybe the high cost of medications comes not only from the expense of research and marketing of new drugs, but also to pay off some politicians to ensure higher profits into the future.

The Money Monster

Accountable Care Organizations: A Brief Description

Posted in Healthcare Today | Tagged Donut hole, Drug Company, Drugs, Medicare, medications | 15 Comments

The Money Monster

Posted on February 10, 2016 by deconstructingdoctor

Accountable Care Organizations: A Brief Explanation

Monsters have one thing in common. They are driven by a selfish greed to feed: on blood, on souls, on your bank account. Insurance and drug companies are in the business to make money. Some may say that makes them monsters. Making money at the expense of patients. Money makes investors happy.

Happy investors are really fucking important.

I’m in a business. It’s a weird business. Sick people pay me money to make them better. They didn’t want to be sick, but now they are. It’s not their fault, but it’s not mine either. They are sick, I can help, so I charge them money. You don’t have any money? That’s too bad for you.

Except, I have a conscience. I still help. That’s really stupid business.

If you are lucky, you have insurance. You pay a premium every month. You may also have a deductible. Say it’s $2000. Typically you have to pay all of your medical expenses up to and including $2000 until your insurance company starts to pay. This occurs for one year. After that year, the deductible starts over. The insurance company pays me, the doctor. Most of the time and not always what I’m worth. They kind of decide. I have a contract with them that spells out what I get paid. They can argue it a little or give me a hard time about what I want to do for the patient. Maybe I want to get a CT scan, but they tell me no. That’s not nice. I know what I’m doing.

Insurance companies want to make a profit. In order to make a profit, they have to charge the consumer (the patient) more for their product (the insurance) than they spend (for healthcare). That’s good business. United Healthcare Group, the largest healthcare insurance supplier in the US, posted $10.3 billion in profits in 2014 and that’s up by 7% from the year before. That makes for very happy investors.

Maybe my patient didn’t get that CT scan because her insurance wouldn’t pay for it. I order an ultrasound. Maybe they said no again, but I could get an X-ray. It was normal. Maybe 2 weeks later, her symptoms had progressed and they still say no CT scan. They pay for a screening colonoscopy (thanks Obama), but it’s normal, too. She’s getting worse. How many of you assholes do I have to berate to get the test I want? Finally, a CT scan. Oops. She has cancer and it’s spread.

I hope your investors are happy.

What About the Drug Company?

Posted in Healthcare Today | Tagged Greed, healthcare cost, insurance, Insurance company, medical | 1 Comment

Accountable Care Organizations: A Quick Explanation

Posted on February 7, 2016 by deconstructingdoctor

Something is happening in medicine today and you probably don’t have a clue. You have a problem, go to the doctor, pay your co-pay, pick up your medicine, and live another day. Nothing seems to have changed and nothing seems to be amiss.

Something is happening and it’s going on right under your noses. Doctors and hospitals are joining and developing Accountable Care Organizations. It’s not sinister. It’s actually to the advantage of the patient and the system as a whole. It’s about quality over quantity. It’s about measuring the quality of the care provided, saving money for the system, and then the providers share in that savings.

In the simplest terms, doctors get paid to keep you healthy. The healthier you are, the less you cost. A piece of that savings is then passed onto the doctor. You know, like incentive.

Medicare started it and now everyone is doing it. It’s known as the Medicare Shared Savings Program (MSSP) and was established by the Affordable Care Act in 2010 as a response to increasing US healthcare costs. US Healthcare in 2010 cost over 2 trillion dollars. TWO TRILLION. It constituted about 17% of the Gross Domestic Product of the US (up from about 5% in the 1950s).

Healthcare costs have sky rocketed and some of it is because of waste. Doctors and hospitals do not communicate and duplicate tests are performed on the same patient. Patients are prescribed more expensive medications when cheaper ones would be just as effective. Cutting back on waste is one component of the MSSP. The other is providing high quality care.

(I have opinions on the role of insurance and drug company greed as contributors to the high cost of healthcare, but that’s a whole ‘nuther post)

Medicare is measuring the savings and quality of the providers and hospitals by a set of standards called Quality Benchmarks (QBM). There are 33 now (more coming soon). The QBMs must be met by the providers to prove that patients are getting the topnotch care at the lowest cost. You can find a list at:

Quality Benchmarks

Doctors, hospitals, and patients are frustrated with the current system. It is an ever-expanding money monster that is eating up resources and spitting out bankrupt patients and providers. The conversion of a fee for service (see the doctor and pay your co-pay) to a payment model based on high quality, low cost services is the solution. For now. Patients benefit as providers and hospitals become more accountable to the quality of care that they provide at the lowest cost to the consumer.

That sounds nice doesn’t it? Unfortunately, the consumer, also known as the patient, has not seen a decrease in deductibles OR premiums. They still pay the same (or more) for services rendered. The savings garnered from eliminating the waste in medicine is being passed onto the insurance company and they are making a fortune. They are giving a few scraps to the physicians and hospitals to appease them. All the while the money monster continues to get fat. More on the money monster coming soon.

The Money Monster

What About the Drug Company?

Posted in Healthcare Today | Tagged Acceptable Care Organizations, Affordable Care Act, Medicare Shared Savings, Quality Benchmarks | 2 Comments

Eat Like A Champion or Not

Posted on February 6, 2016 by deconstructingdoctor

Boj_Logo_Oval My husband announced to me yesterday amidst the usual hectic rush to get everyone ready and out the door in the morning that the Carolina Panthers ate Bojangles every Friday (I can not in all honesty corroborate this, so if it’s not true, blame my husband). That’s nice, honey, and then I continued screaming at my oldest to get his shoes on, right now! It was only later that I recollected his comment and I chuckled a little. I grew up in South Florida and had never experienced a Bojangles before. It had been several years of living in North Carolina before I had the pleasure and it was my husband and his family that first introduced it to me.

If you are not from the South, Bojangles is a great mystery. Don’t worry you are not missing much. I overdosed on it while first dating my husband and during our earliest years of marriage. I had unknowingly walked into a family tradition. Sunday. Church. Lunch at Bojangles.

During those early years, I had tried being a vegetarian and then a vegan. Now I am neither. I was a total failure. Not because I just love meat so much, but because it is difficult to find anything in the South without some kind of animal in it. Even the green beans at Bojangles have chunks of bacon/ham in it. At one point I would eat the biscuit and egg sandwich for lunch, but when I became a vegan even that was out of the question.

When I wasn’t a vegetarian/vegan, I would eat the chicken strips, fried with some bizarre spicy coating beneath the crispy parts.

People in the South LOVE Bojangles. The best thing on the menu is the sweet tea which is akin to the taste of the perfect summer day in heaven and is the sole reason for the diabetes and obesity epidemic in this area. Maybe not the sole reason, but it is a delicious contributor. Sweet tea is the reason I can’t get into my skinny jeans. Damn you sweet tea.

Bojangles has an assortment of sides that are classically southern and not found at your run of the mill fast food joints like grits, pinto beans, dirty rice and macaroni and cheese. There are no hamburgers, but there is plenty of chicken. And biscuits, lots of biscuits. The other major source of diabetes and obesity.

I haven’t eaten Bojangles in years. Even my husband’s family tired of the same old same old and have since changed their Sunday lunch choices. The Panthers eat Bojangles (allegedly). I even heard that a convoy of Bojangles sweet tea is on its way to San Francisco for the Super Bowl fans to partake. Of course, we are rooting for the North Carolina Panthers in the Super Bowl tomorrow and whether they win or lose, I might just attribute it to their pregame intake of Bojangles.

Posted in Medical Musings, My Stories | Tagged Bojangles, Diabetes, Obesity, Panthers, South, Sweet Tea, Vegan, Vegetarian | 2 Comments

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