I haven’t been running consistently in months.  Maybe a 5K here and there.  Which sounds kind of odd when you are a non-runner.  Who can just go run a 5K?  Isn’t there preparation, training, effort?  Not when you’ve been doing it for as long as I have.  I can just go run a 5K even if I haven’t run in weeks.

Truthfully, I’m not some kind of superhuman running machine.  I totally suck at it.  It’s just ingrained in my legs and lungs.  They just know what to do.  For now.

I went for a run yesterday for the first time in a long time, of my own free will, without being signed up for a race by my darling husband (you can refer to his influence on my running at an older blog post Running Etiquette).  I went begrudgingly.  I tried to find reasons NOT to go.  I had almost reached the conclusion that running is dumb.  A waste of time.  Nothing really changes about my body.  I never get any faster.  It’s all an effort.  And I hurt my hip last time.  Why do I run, anyway?  There’s yoga, the bicycle, going for a stroll, Zumba.  Running is so pointless.

I had my tunes, my water bottles strapped to my waist.  I had my sports bra (because I forgot it the day before and I’m not running without it!), my favorite socks, my new running shoes (to get me motivated).  I had my new Fitbit AND my Garmin (is this all really necessary?).  I drove to my favorite park with my favorite trails.  Trail running is my favorite.  And I just started.  Again.

It wasn’t as easy this time.  The hills grew over the winter.  Like my waist-line.  My lungs shrunk.  Like my motivation.  But my hip felt good.  I ran a couple of miles and then called it quits for the day.  There was no epiphany.  I still might think that running is dumb tomorrow.  But I’m going to do it again anyway.  Because I can.  Because I’m always telling people to eat better, exercise more, manage their stress, get more sleep.  And I feel like a hypocrite when I’m not following my own advise.

And wouldn’t you know it, I saw two of my patients out there on the trail, exercising, too.  We stopped and talked.  I was a sweaty, smelly mess and the younger one pretty much told me so, “you need a shower Dr. V.”  They were getting healthier just like I encouraged them, they told me.  Isn’t that something?  Maybe the message is getting through.  Yeah, I’ll be back tomorrow.