Pet Peeves

IMG_2967Kind of like the pet rock, except even more annoying.  My daughter loves to collect rocks that she calls her “pets” and then hands them to me to keep in my pockets.  By the end of the day, I have pockets full of rocks.  Yes, that’s a rock in my pocket and I’m not that happy to see you.  Her rock fetish is cute.  It’s not a pet peeve of mine.

My list of pet peeves may be exhaustive like her rock collection.  Hair on the soap, toilet paper not placed on the holder, dishes not put in the dishwasher, one bite of ice cream left in the container, when my husband has clothes sticking out of the drawers so you can’t shut them all the way, unmatched hangers in the closet (have you seen Mommy Dearest?), piles, I hate piles and clutter -unless it’s my clutter -oh and bad smells.

Umm…as I reread this it occurs to me that the list above pretty much has everything to do with my darling husband, love ya babe, but you are really freaking annoying to me.  Now back to the bad smells….

I’m forever asking, what’s that smell?  I seem to be the only one in my little family that can smell shit, farts, rotten food, mold, slime, dirty dishes, garbage that needs to be taken out, toilets that need to be cleaned, bad breath, body odor, dirty feet, cat litter that needs to be changed, dog poo on the bottom of someone’s shoe, etc.

After 40 years on this planet, I have discovered my super power.  My sense of smell (and 80’s hairband trivia).  And it’s pretty worthless.  In fact, if I had to give up one of my senses it would be the sense of smell, rendering me powerless (I am aware that giving up smell will likely force me to give up taste, too).  My sense of smell is actually a bit of a burden.  So what if I smelled that fart a mile away, what’s the use in it really?

Did you fart?  Yes.  OK…just making sure.

What’s that smell?  I don’t smell anything.  It’s the garbage.  It smells terrible.  Dear God, what’s in there?  Dunno (shrugs shoulders and walks off)

Something smells bad.  What’s it smell like?  Like wet dog that rolled around on a rotting fish.  I don’t smell anything.  Did you brush your teeth this morning?  No, I forgot.

Which brings me to my last pet peeve.  When you smell something bad and no one else is bothered by it, you get to be the one to find and remove that smell.  I take out the garbage, turn on the dishwasher, wash the dirty clothes, change the cat litter.  I’m the one that hounds my children to take baths to wash their pits, feet, and brush their teeth.  I am the purveyor of deputrification (apparently that’s not a word per Google).  I am the fanatic in finding the feculent.  I will obliterate the odiferous.  I repudiate the repugnant.  I will fastidiously defeat the fetid.  I could do this all day.  And I do.  All day.

And it’s a thankless job.


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8 Responses to Pet Peeves

  1. montaymd says:

    i laughed so hard, it brought tears to my eyes. it’s been a long time I did that.
    Good job…
    I can’t say I feel your pain tho’ ; )

    Liked by 1 person

  2. momsranting says:

    I just read some study that reported husbands create something like 6 hours of extra work per week….for the wives they live with. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 2ndhalfolife says:

    I’m afraid you sound like every wife/mother in the world! 🙂 They should simply make it a clause for divorce. Simple. Well, at least when you get to the breaking point, which obviously you have not 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Deb says:

    Some people have perfected the art of never smelling, seeing, or simply acknowledging those things that make folk like you and I crazy. You hit the nail on the head when you stated that “you get to be the one to find and remove that smell” or in my case, when I notice anything that any adult with eyes or a nose would consider disgusting or in need of just taking care because it’s there and needing doing. Thankless indeed…

    Liked by 1 person

    • My poor husband was reading my blogpost this morning. I didn’t know it at first until he kept shouting out things like, “I never leave hair on the soap…I ran the dishwasher last night…all our hangers match…what about that pile on your dresser.” Poor guy. I think I traumatized him. Despite all his efforts, he still can’t smell what I can!

      Liked by 1 person

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