The worst thing to happen to my blog is Netflix.
I discovered Netflix and Stranger Things and American Horror Story. I am watching American Horror Story right now as I write this so I am kind of distracted. I spend half the show cringing and fast-forwarding through the bloody parts.
I discovered binge-watching. Where has this been all my life? It’s awful. I have wasted so much time! But I can’t stop. Of course, it is really cutting into my writing time. That’s not good.
I also took a painting class. And I made two quilts. Work’s been busy. There was Halloween and now Thanksgiving and Christmas. The kids have been busy with kickboxing and soccer. And then there was that fucking election. I swear to God my mother turned over in her grave over that one. I have a lot on my mind. I’m trying to come to terms with how I feel about my career and what I’m going to do about it. And coming to terms with the loss of my mom.
I’m on the last season of American Horror Story now. But it seems the real American horror story has no season finale. It goes on and on. No one learns anything. No one changes. No one seems to care about anyone else but themselves. I have this overwhelming desire to do good in the world. Does anyone else feel that way, too? Am I the idiot for not always looking out for my best interests? Not always taking the biggest piece of fried chicken and leaving the smaller pieces for everyone else? Clamoring for what I can get for myself?
The funny thing is, even as I write this, I know there will be folks on the opposite spectrum of politics agreeing with me and picturing monorities taking from them. Sad. Because that’s not even remotely my point. Everyone takes from everyone for the betterment of themselves. Some people are more privileged than others. And those people should use that privilege to help others.
I will be back to my routine soon enough. Back to reality. Eat, sleep, family, work, write, fight. In the meantime, I take the opportunities when I can to zone out and get out of my own head. Find the quiet spaces and the freedom to just not think about anything. I’m trying to find the quiet places to build up my reserves. There is a lot of fighting behind me, but a lot more ahead of me. The battles continue on all fronts. There seems to be no end in sight.