Time is relentless. It races us forward kicking and screaming without our consent.
One year ago today, I published my first blogpost. There was a mix of great excitement and great fear. Could they be one in the same? Before I started, I had written a list of possible blogposts, numbering greater than 30, just to make sure I would have enough to say. I have never looked at that list again. I just wrote whatever came to mind, whatever interested me.
Today I take a break and look back at some of my favorite blogposts. A lot has happened over the past year that I could never have imagined, like the loss of my mom and the gain of so many amazing blog friends. You have all been there with me, encouraging me, listening to me, and sharing your own stories of loss and redemption.
Some of you have been with me since the beginning, but for those of you that haven’t, here is my first blogpost:
One of my favorite moments was opening up my mailbox and finding a big manilla envelope addressed to me from Patch Adams! What a delight! I wrote him a letter, asked a few questions and he responded and graciously agreed that I post it on my blog. I’ll admit, I wish I could be as brave as he is in the pursuit of his dreams. He inspires me.
Of course, I think my blog rocks, so I sent a link to WordPress hoping to be featured and gain some followers. Unfortunately, they didn’t feel the same and sent me a nice email critiquing my post. They were a bit miffed that I mentioned the race of my patient in this post (at the end). They didn’t understand what it had to do with anything. OMG, I’m not a weirdo fixated on race, I promise. This is how we talk in medicine. Patient is a 55 year-old black female. Or white. Or hispanic. I don’t know why we do it, but that’s how we are taught. I was becoming a doctor and it was a realization in the moment. An ah-ha moment. I couldn’t defend myself. There was no way to reply to the critique. It just sat there and I couldn’t make them understand. So I’m doing it now. *deep breath* I feel better now.
One of my most personal posts is about the days after my mom’s passing. My very soul felt stripped of its covering. I was raw and dazed. I was exhausted and spent. What I didn’t expect was that her passing exposed things to me about my career that were quite surprising to me. It opened my eyes to things I was ignoring. I haven’t even begun to write about what happened at work because I’m still dealing with it, but once things settle, I will.
Thanks to all my readers and blog friends for an incredible first year. For sticking it out with me. For encouraging me. For being there. Out there in the ether.