Uh oh, I’m going to get a little preachy….
I used to be under the impression that if God was mad at me for something bad that I had done, then He would fuck up my life royally.
He would attack.
I know what you are thinking, that’s silly. Everyone knows that God doesn’t punish us for the wrong that we do. He forgives us. He uses bad things that happen to bring about greater good in the world.
Just kidding, you weren’t thinking that at all, you were thinking, holy crap, she just used the “f” word and God in the same sentence! Lord help her, she’s doomed. And you would probably be right, if God cared about the “f” word.
Now I can’t say that I know for sure that He doesn’t care about it, but I think it’s really low on His list of concerns. I say the “f” word, so what. God hasn’t convicted me of this offense yet, and when/if He does, I will give great and lengthy consideration to stopping. But for now, fuck it.
I have been thinking about God a lot lately. I have been immersing myself in study, trying desperately to make sense of the world from God’s perspective because nothing about the world makes sense to me. People don’t make sense. Their motivations don’t make sense. Their twisted ideology, their hate, their bizarre misrepresentation of facts, all of it, doesn’t make sense to me. I find myself turning away, turning inward, and looking for a more spiritual and divine connection. I’m looking for a sense of peace. I’m looking for a reprieve from the attacks.
It’s funny how people interpret God’s will. I have heard people say that Trump’s election was God’s will. I suppose that this is true, but in which way? His will for good? Or His will to use bad to bring about a greater good? Is Trump God’s way of creating unity among us, united to fight against an ideology that is counter to God’s, a leader and a government that blatantly lies, robs, subjugates, conspires, manipulates, and hates? Trump may possibly be the best thing to happen to this country, to Christians, to me. My relationship with God, His expectations of how I should be has never been more clear. Whatever Trump is, I am not.
What is clear to me, is that what God asks of me is simple. Less of me. More of Him. Feed the hungry. Heal the sick. Don’t judge. When I have plenty, then I should share. Tell the truth. Be fair. Don’t take more that I need. Don’t steal. Don’t wish harm on others. Be kind. I am my brother’s keeper. Be steadfast and persevere.
This is what I cling to in order to make sense of this world. If I continue to follow these simple expectations, God’s simple rules for my life, and expect the same from those in a position of power and leadership, then I will be able to get my bearings again. These expectations will be the lenses through which I will view the world and any deviation from this will cause me to question if it is truly God’s will.
People might attack, but God doesn’t.